CONFESSIONS OF A GOREHOUND

***DISCLAIMER- GORY CONTENT!  FOR ADULTS ONLY!***

Ha!  I knew you couldn’t suppress your morbid curiosity.

So, I just scored tickets for my BFCF RJT and myself to a very exclusive IN-PERSON event with none other than Bruce ‘Ash’ Campbell!  I haven’t been this excited since Mike Patton crowd surfed on us at Red Rocks.

Why am I so excited?  Good question when look dig into the roots of my giddiness.  Why am I so excited to see a self-anointed B-movie cult hero?  Because I’m a gorehound, a splatter-happy horror movie addict.  But whyyyyy?!

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Well, I can’t speak for the rest of y’all, and I’m no shrink, but that shit just appeals to me!  I mean, I wouldn’t call it vicarious or cathartic, because I never (meaning rarely) have any impulses to replicate what I see on the severed screen.

There’s just something about going to my family’s cabin in the woods with RJT, popping in a really bad Redbox horror movie, and letting the carnage engulf me.  Somehow, the crappier the movie, the more fun it is to watch.

I can tell you this, a have a certain admiration for the directors, the ones who bring their blood-soaked dreams to life.  John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Stuart Gordon, and Sam Raimi rank among my favorites.

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I pay close attention to the effects, the blood, and the gore.  Hence, gorehound.  Somehow it’s all compared to the works of art birthed by Rob Bottin, Rick Baker, and of course, Tom Savini.  They truly brought life to death.

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Then there are the faithful actors.  As they endure pain and torment, or dispense pain and torment, it somehow takes mine away.  Bruce made Ash a character everyone can relate to; an unwitting, and witless, sod thrust into an evil world he didn’t ask for.  My other go-tos in this cate-gory would have to be Jeffery Combs (Herbert West in Re-Animator), Robert Englund (Freddy), and Danielle Harris (Halloween, Hatchet, See No Evil, and Chomeskull!).

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I don’t think my love for such an evil medium has had too many ill effects.  Kill…  Sorry.  I consider it a right of passage, something that helped me bond and get through some difficult times in life.  As I write this, I realize it’s an escape.  Duh.  Things are usually worse for the suckers in the movie than they are for me.

So, if you’re still wondering why I’m so excited to (hopefully) shake the hand of Bruce Campbell, the superstar of Ash vs Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, and Bubba Ho-Tep, it’s because the misery he endures on screen, and his killer one-liners, make me giddy!  It’s pure schadenfreude!  I want to thank him for that.

So, until next time, don’t bother me.  I’m goring a book!

Run away!

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About the author

The universe planted many ideas in my mind. I pass them off as my own, but know they're stolen. My ideas gain traction, grow, and consume me. I become my ideas. The universe implants the idea of me in my brain. I am stolen.

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