BRUCE CAMPBELL- BASED ON A GROOVY STORY- PT. I

I met Bruce Campbell, and it was literally everything I imagined it would be, with a little help from my friend RJT.

Me, BRUCE, RJT, and the boomstick!

Now, I’m not gonna to lie to you, I’m gonna lie to you.  Just a little bit o’ lies, mind you.  Alright, a lotta bit o’ lies.

Even though I’m a writer of fiction (sometimes), which is lies (mostly), I still feel bad.  Honesty, both projected and introspected, is my greatest burden.  It’s a chalyvas maul with which I can forge great bonds, and do immense damage.

That being said, some fraction of the following is fact, and some fraction is friction…I mean fiction.  I really hope you can separate the two.  I’m trying not to.  If you can’t, well, shut up and enjoy!

RJT and my shrine to BRUCE at our very own cabin in the woods.

On Thursday September 21, 2017, my birthday, RJT and I met in the back of a historic theater in the slums on West Colfax to hang out with our hero; Bruce Campbell.  We came fully armed.  In fact, we had been preparing for this night most our adult lives, and frantically cramming in the weeks leading up.

I’m a Deadite from the mid eighties spawn.  Evil Dead I & II were in regular rotation for my high school buddies and I & II.  Sometimes we’d have to travel from Black Hawk to Boulder (almost a hundred miles) and visit the Video Station just to get our ‘hand’ on an unrated version of the video nasty.  Sometimes we even drove.

Sisterly love.

I remember getting laughed out of my dorm room when I tried to show the original to some of my ‘more cultured’ private college yuppie ‘friends’.  “The Clumsy Dead.  The Crippled Dead.  The Frumpy Dead.”, they mocked as I ran down to the lobby and cried myself to sleep.

The Gooey Dead.  Dammit, now I’m making myself cry!

Jump to 1993.  Finally back home, safe from the horrors of collegiate ridicule, the movie event of the century approached; Army of (F**king) Darkness!  It’s release signified not only the much awaited next chapter in the Campbell/Raimi/Tapert love letter to Deadites around the world, but my return home.  I was back with my demons, and all was right with the world.

Never stop reaching for the saws.

Ash Williams had returned to save the day as only he could.  Little did I know, 25 years later to the day (fudge a couple of months), he would do it again.

Thanks for sticking around!  To be continued…

Until next time, don’t bother me.  I’m hailing a book!

P.S. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.  Some, er, individuals were not happy with my releasing those pictures of Halteres.  So, I had than goin’ on.