Where did I leave off? Oh, yeah, 1993. I’d just witnessed the greatest cinematic event in my life, Army of Darkness, at the first cineplex known to man; Union Plaza on 6th and Simms (this was also the first stop in my legendary cross town double feature of Return of the Living Dead and Weird Science).
On the way out of AOD, stunned and amazed, I just had to hork a mini poster from the theater to commemorate the occasion. It’s been in our family ever since.
Notice the ‘ASH’ insignia, the illegible signature, and the action lines around the chainsaw blade. Yeah, Bruce did that just for RJT!
Anyway, the years passed, friends came and went, and went, and went. Viewings of ED I, II, and AOD became less and less frequent, and somehow, my life grew more and more boringer (I know).
Almost twenty years later, as the my mortal coil found itself tangled on the stairs, something beautiful happened. RJT and I found we had a common passion, and a sacred asylum in which to share it. Our family has a rustic cabin in the woods. What better place to watch horror movies about rustic cabins in the woods than a rustic cabin in the woods?
Life is meant to be experienced, and shared, with those who appreciate the same things as you. I am immensely grateful to have RJT as a fellow Deadite.
Now picture MST3K, only completely different. There’s just the two of us ‘humans’ enduring some of the worst films ever made in the cozy confines of the cabin (sorry). Nothing is ever scripted, but if we made a ‘best of’ of our riffs, your head would explode with laughter. I still remember such classic lines as, “Books. Books! That’s what started the whole apocalypse!”, and, “You’ll pay for your consequences!”
We definitely paid for our consequences, but we always knew we had good ol’ Bruce to fall back on and make it all better. We always had ED I & II, AOD, Bubba Ho-Tep, Maniac Cop, and My Name is Bruce to pour some sugar on us and remove the vile taste of vomit rockets like Six Feet Below Hell and It Comes at Night (No, you shut up).
Then, on a cold, snowy Halloween night in 2015, the second (or fifth, whatever) coming.
No…f**king…way! Life had been necronomiconed back into the Deadites. We already knew it was going to be the best show ever, and it didn’t disappoint. Bruce didn’t disappoint. Sam didn’t disappoint. It is the best f**king show ever!
By the way, help keep Ash alive! Watch the show! Support the cause! GO NOW (after you finish reading my post)!
I could get into the specifics of why Ash Vs Evil Dead is the best f**king show ever (and I will later), but if you’ve been reading, you already know. I’ll give you a one word synopsis for how it comes across to me; relatable. Huh? Next time, punkins, next time.
The only logical step would be to meet the face, the heart of the revolution. But that would have to wait, and so will you!
Until next time, don’t bother me. I’m swallowing a book.