Who’s Choreographing this Shit Show?

Kirk E. Hammond


Kirk E. Hammond loves science fiction, cats, baseball, and words like emulsified, rapscallion, and nincompoop.

Growing up in the ‘80s, badass movies such as Re-Animator, The Evil Dead, The Thing, Robocop, Aliens, Mad Max2: The Road Warrior, and The Return of the Living Dead, just to name a few, fascinated him. The more gore and camp, the better.

Authors who heavily influence him include David Wong (Jason Pargin), Chuck Palahniuk, Chuck Wendig, Frank Herbert, H.P. Lovecraft, Philip K. Dick, Christopher Moore, and J.R.R. Tolkien.

He’s a naughty boy who needs to be punished. Every twelve years, he changes careers; from biotech dish-pig, to high school science tyrant, to creator, publisher, and purveyor of lies.

As far as we can tell, his writing has no deeper meaning. It’s just action, and gore, and drugs, and magnificent scenery, and witty, snarky banter. In fact, he told me, “There’s nothing more depressing than a moral.”

He was born, raised, and lives in Colorado. He does not ski and smokes pot for research purposes only.



This is Dexter; muse, inspiration for Patton, dominator of the litter box, tyrannical, bi-polar pain in the ass.

Loves to make the other guy work (and cry).

Just like Patton, he’s missing a fang and has a broken tail.

At least he has good taste in movies. He’s really eyeballing that J & B, because he’s a stinking drunk.

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Until, next time–

At least the first four chapters. Check it out!